SPRING BREAK SPECIAL: My Turn

by Richard Watherwax

It was St. Patrick’s day, Spring Break 2011. and she was standing on Smathers Beach in Key West and she was looking out to sea when he walked up to her and said I bet you’re Irish because you’re wearing a green bathing suit and she said no it must be a coincidence and she thought at the time that he had the most beautiful eyes and he said what college are you from and she told him and she said how about you and he told her and she said what’s your major and then he told her and then he said you know that’s Cuba out there straight ahead and she said, I know and I’d love to go someday and he said you will . . .

They were married two years later and took their honeymoon in Cuba and stopped in Key West on the way back and they went to Smathers Beach and he said this is where it all started and she said yes and I’m so happy it did and he said I really love you so much and she said not as much as I love you and he said our love will last forever and she said yes and cried on his shoulder and said I would just die without you and she looked at him and couldn’t stop looking at his most beautiful eyes…

SPCA Responds to Criticism

SPCA PREZ: “I AM TIRED OF THIS US AND THEM, KILL OR NO-KILL FINGER-POINTING THAT HAS BEEN PERPETRATED BY SUFA FOR YEARS

EDITOR’S NOTE: In recent weeks, there have been a number stories in all the newspapers here about County officials closing the Stand Up For Animals (SUFA) animal shelters in the Middle Keys. This is a continuing story that needs to be told. At the request of the County, the Florida Keys Society for the Prevention of Cruelty of Animals (FKSPCA), which operates the animal shelter on Stock Island, took over the SUFA shelters to ensure that the animals in those shelters were cared for.

This story is a County vs SUFA story. It is not a FKSPCA vs SUFA story. The FKSPCA did nothing to cause the problems being faced by SUFA. At the request of the County, the people at the FKSPCA are simply helping out in an emergency situation until County officials name a new contractor to provide animal control in the Middle Keys.

But last week, Key West The Newspaper writer Rick Boettger, in his well-written commentary telling the “other side” of the SUFA story, was briefly critical (one sentence) of the FKSPCA’s efforts to temporarily fill in for SUFA. But brief or not, FKSPCA President Jane Dawkins felt that Boettger’s criticism was “hurtful and insulting” to her staff— and she fired off a detailed response.

Here it is in its entirety.

Dear Editor:

Yes, Virginia. There is a Santa Claus

One hundred and thirteen years ago, in the fall of 1897, an eight-year-old girl wrote a letter to the editor of the New York Sun newspaper. Some of her friends had told her, “There is no Santa Claus.” She asked of the Sun editor, “Please tell me the truth. Is there a Santa Clause?” That letter and the published response of Editor Frances P. Church are a worthy part of the holiday tradition we call Christmas.

More than a century after those words were written, the world has changed physically, beyond the wildest imaginations of that time: We travel farther in an hour than you could travel in a week in those days; we’ve endured two World Wars and countless lesser wars; more new knowledge is developed every week, now, than existed altogether then; we’ve gone to the moon, and look beyond–but Church’s words are every bit as true, and as valuable, today as when written.

Here’s the open letter Editor Church wrote to Virginia O’Hanlon in 1897 and which we traditionally re-publish here evry Christmas Eve:

SPECIAL COMMENTARY: Thug Cops Kill Fantasy Fest

by Ken Bradley

The Key West Police Department along with the Monroe County Sheriff’s Department are killing Fantasy Fest by their heavy-handed and thuggish treatment of the Fantasy Fest participants. What was once a great week-long party dominated by relaxed special commentary crowds of partygoers has now turned into a tense dread of the police either pushing people around or threatening people with expulsion from the island.

And the “crimes” the police are harassing people about are walking in the street and being body painted. Fantasy Fest has always been known for its huge crowds, at times up to 70,000 people, and for its excellent body painters whose art adorns both men and women. In the past the city of Key West and the police department have issued warnings that body paint is not clothing but these provisions in the city code are relaxed during Fantasy Fest especially in what the city designates as the Party Zone which includes lower Duval Street and some surrounding streets.

This year, Commissioner Barry Gibson asked the Key West Police Department (KWPD) to increase its enforcement of the nudity provision in the city code which has resulted in the KWPD and other jurisdictions engaging in what they call voluntary compliance in which women were forcibility removed from the Party Zone and told they would be arrested and ejected from Key West unless they covered up their body paint. People stepping off the sidewalk and walking in the street in or out of the Party Zone were subjected to similar treatment as the body painted women.

SPECIAL COMMENTARY: Why, THANK You Very Much, Matt!

by Rick Boettger

Local Republican candidate Matt Gardi wrote an oddly fair and balanced attack on my analysis of the new “Corporat” (aka Republican) party’s brilliant electoral strategy to take over the federal government.

The primary oddity is that he opens his attack by saying my analysis of the Corporat election strategy is “spot on,” admitting “my party has been co-opted by frauds at all levels.” And he shows the thoroughness of his reading and understanding of my article by outlining the strategic topics I had explained: he admits the Corporats are “conspiring,” use nonstop “negative advertising,” are “controlled by wealthy elitists behind the scenes calling the shots,” and are “facilitating more rewards for [their] contributors.”

Further, he praises me personally, giving me the “utmost respect when it comes to being someone who stands up to the system,” feeling I am “dedicated to the cause of informing the public about the injustices within the machine.” Enough already, Matt, I’m blushing! You sound like my biggest fan.

The Controversial Mr. Watherwax

IS HIS PHOTOGRAPHY ART—
OR SOFTCORE PORN? WE ASKED
HIM TO EXPLAIN IT

by Richard Watherwax

Last week I ran the photo
at right in my ad in Key West The
Newspaper with the caption
“Happy Mother’s Day.” One
reader was offended, and sent
an email to Publisher Dennis
Reeves Cooper.

“This comment is on Richard
Watherwax’s photo of the
week, showing an older lady
posing with Chris Vidal naked
behind her. I mean seriously!
That is so not appropriate. I am
a very open minded person,
as I belive the majority of Key
West people are, but this is just
gross.”

I can understand why
some people might be upset.
A friend of mine, who usually
likes the humor in my work,
told me that I had “finally
crossed the line.” Finally? They
haven’t been paying attention.

Buz Dillon Looking For Police Chief Job

Commentary by Dennis Reeves Cooper

Former Key West Police Chief Gordon “Buz”
Dillon— who abruptly resigned in January 2004 after
then-City Manager Julio Avael told him his contract was
not going to be renewed— still wants to be a police chief
somewhere. Anywhere.

He is one of 111 candidates for the job of police chief
up in Rockledge, Florida, according to a press report on
FloridaToday.com. Rockledge is a primarily residential
community with a population of 26,000 located on the Intercoastal Waterway south of
Orlando.

According to the city’s
website, Rockledge officials
hope to make a decision on a
new chief by the end of April.

PBA Obsessed With Undermining the CRB Statewide

Commentary by Dennis Reeves Cooper

We have told you before how hard the police union— the
Police Benevolent Association (PBA)— fought to prevent the
establishment of the Citizen Review Board (CRB) here seven
years ago. You may recall that a group of citizens collected
thousands of signatures in order to get the question on the ballot
in November 2002— and more than 60 percent of Key Westers
who went to the polls voted to create the CRB.

The CRB is an independent city agency that has the authority
to review and investigate complaints involving Key West
police officers and forward findings and recommendations to
city management, the chief of police, state attorney, other state
and federal law enforcement agencies and grand juries. The CRB
also has subpoena power.

During the weeks leading up to the vote, PBA officials
from Miami spent big bucks running ads here to try to defeat
the CRB referendum. But they got their asses beat bigtime— and
they are still stinging. But they continue to try to undermine the
CRB at every opportunity.

But in spite of PBA opposition,
citizen review boards have
continued to proliferate across
Florida and the nation— and
you should know that Key
West’s CRB is viewed as a
model for committees setting
up boards in other cities.

FOLLOWUP: The No-Insurance Blues

by Lynn Randolph

While recovering from a
broken wrist as a result of a hit
and run bicycle accident this
past December, I wrote a story
about the experience. It began
full of anger and frustration
and was edited down to just
an account of my accident and
treatment in the hands of the
local medical system. The bills
incurred by the accident were
piled up and growing larger
as I continued treatment with
a local orthopedic surgeon. My
dominant right hand was the
one injured and I could barely
sign my name, after six weeks
in a cast.

The piece was titled “The
No Insurance Blues.” It was
taken by a friend to Dennis
Cooper, publisher of Key West
The Newspaper. The story was
printed last March 13. I had been
out of work since the accident
on December 30, and a month
out of a cast when the story
ran in the Blue Paper, as it is
known locally.

My old friend and former
employer Denise had offered
me a few hostess shifts in her
busy local restaurant, Camilles,
getting me out of my home and
my depression over my situation.
I was unable to wait tables
as I had done before, because the
recovering wrist had atrophied
in the cast. My hand was weak
and awkward, I was unable to
grip or lift anything with it. I
could, however, greet incoming
guests, walk to seat them, hand out menus and answer
the phone.

Special Commentary: The Acevedo Scandal

by Dennis Reeves Cooper

One of the hottest topics
in town for the past few
weeks has been the Monique
Acevedo school district credit
card scandal. And we here at
Key West the Newspaper have
been getting a lot of questions
from our friends— as well as
our critics— about why we
are not “covering” this story.
I want to frame the answer to
that question in the form of a
compliment.

Reporter John Guerra at
the Key West Citizen has been
all over this story! He owns it!
He is covering the hell out of it!
I’ll probably get him in trouble
over there for saying good
things about him, but it’s true.

When I have been asked about
why there hasn’t been much
about this story in our paper, my
response has been, “What part
of that story do you think John
Guerra might be missing?”