Police Chief: Scofflaw Bicyclists Are Going to Get Stopped by Police Officers

THE TRAFFIC LAWS THAT APPLY TO
AUTOMOBILE DRIVERS ALSO
APPLY TO BICYCLE RIDERS

CHIEF: SCOFFLAW BICYCLISTS
HAVE NOT FEARED ENFORCEMENT.
THAT IS ABOUT TO CHANGE

KWTN Team Report

Anyone who drives a car
in Key West knows that the
problem of scofflaw bicyclists
is virtually out of control. Many,
if not most bicyclists here routinely
run red lights and stop
signs and travel the wrong way
down one-way streets. In doing
this, they not only endanger themselves, they endanger others
around them.

Several weeks ago, on
Sunday morning, May 2, a
motor scooter operator was
seriously injured trying to avoid
hitting a bicyclist who had
blown through a stop sign on
Caroline at Whitehead Streets.

The scooter operator, Mark
Miller, 59, suffered two broken
ribs, a collapsed lung, a broken
collarbone and lots of bruises
and abrasions. At the hospital,
he underwent surgery to put a
plate on his collarbone.

Ducks May Take City Back to Court

LAWYER SAYS THAT CITY IS IN
CONTEMPT OF COURT FOR NOT
ABIDING BY TERMS OF
PERMANENT INJUNCTION

by Dennis Reeves Cooper

Attorney Scott Perwin, who represents Duck Tours Seafari,
sent a letter to City Attorney Shawn Smith this week, telling him
that the Ducks may ask Senior Judge Howard Harrison to find
the city commission in contempt of court unless the city comes
into compliance with the permanent injunction ordered by Harrison
in July 2005.

According to Perwin, the injunction prohibits the city from
refusing to grant a permit to the Ducks to operate an amphibious
sightseeing tour here. But after more than a year of negotiations
between the city and the Ducks, no workable agreement has
developed, Perwin said.

Back in 1996, city officials illegally forced the Ducks out of
business. The company shareholders sued the city. Nine years later, in 2005, the city was found
guilty of violating the Florida
Anti-Trust Act. Judge Harrison
ordered the permanent injunction
to allow the Ducks to go
back into business. And a jury
awarded the Ducks $13.6 million
in damages.

PAGE ONE COMMENTARY: It’s Hurricane Season. Are We All going to die!?

by Dennis Reeves Cooper

Well, here we go again.
Hurricane season officially begins
this coming Tuesday, June
1. And already, the so-called
hurricane experts— William
Klotzbach and William Gray
from Colorado State University—
are telling us to expect
an “above average” hurricane
season, whatever that means.

Klotzbach and Gray say it
means 11-16 named storms, 6-8
hurricanes and 3-5 major storms
of Category 3 or worse.

If you live in the Florida
Keys, hearing a forecast like
that is scary as hell— until you
realize that these guys (1) have
a less-than-impressive record
of accurate forecasts and (2)
they are not even pretending to
know where these storms might
hit or when. Assuming that
they’re anywhere close to right
when it comes to predicting the
number of storms (even a broken
watch is right two times a
day), all they are really saying
that these storms might make
landfall somewhere along the
east coast of the United States
or somewhere along the U.S.
coasts on the Gulf of Mexico.

BITCHIN’ PARADISE: Love Thy Neighbor? Not So Much

by Kimberley Denney

Late at night, when the
bass is vibrating from the apartment
above me, and his friends
are coming and going and
coming and going, slamming
the gate that is a foot from my
bedroom window, I hate my
neighbor.

Wednesday nights into
Thursday mornings, that’s
when he likes to have his
friends over. Between 2:30 and
4:30 a.m. I have nothing to do
but lie in bed listening to people
who have no concern but their
own drunken good time, and
think of the 12-hour work day
ahead of me. It’s the kind of
simmering rage that makes
you plot untimely deaths of
perfect strangers, the kind you
know a Key West jury would
find completely justifiable.
Wouldn’t you?

I’m even having a tough
time typing, as my frequent
pounding on the wall has resulted
in a bruised hand. Once
he finally got the message
(although this has become our
weekly routine) and turned the
music down, I was already way
too worked up to drift back
into la-la land. It’s that level
of furious similar to when a
rooster is outside your bedroom
window and crows at 90 minute
intervals all night long and you
walk around like a zombie all
day for weeks, if not months,
on end.

RHONDA: The Final Titillation (of the Season)

by Rhonda Linseman-Saunders

I freely admit that I can be very Midwestern at
times, which usually serves only to rob me of excellent
experiences, and worse, is sometimes confused
with prudishness. But last Friday night, my husband
and I went on a date to see SPACE— a Key West
Burlesque show.

We won the tickets at Kimberley Denney’s
birthday party/SPCA fundraiser. That’s just great,
I thought. Just super. That bitch (Bitchin’ Paradise,
page 2) will do just about anything, as long as it’s
legal— and that’s probably only because she has a
highfalutin day job to keep. What is she getting me
into now?

“I mean seriously. What kind of live show starts
at 9 o’clock at NIGHT?” I asked my husband. “That
means we’ll be up several hours past our bedtime—
the time that respectable people go to sleep and the
naughty ones come out to play and to put on these,
these shows. These sex shows. The kind that deeply
pleasure those late-night Pee Wee Herman types.”

RICK: Nolo Contendere

by Rick Boettger

I have been publicly pounding on the Monroe
County government and my Unitarian church repeatedly
over the last few months, and they have not raised
a word in protest (except for one off-the-wall personal
attack on me, which I’ll detail in a bit).

Why not? We are happy to print objections,
corrections, and defenses, even when we strongly
disagree with them. A long and thoughtful page-one
critique of Aids Help’s recent strategic name change
elicited a long and thoughtful reply from their Director,
which was both persuasive and printed in full. Last
year, one of Publisher Cooper’s attacks on “scofflaw
bicyclists” resulted in half a dozen defenses by such
bicyclists, with us again printing every one in full. I
even think Dennis let the cylcists win that round (I
am a free-spirited bicyclist myself), though the battle
rages on sporadically in these pages, and Dennis may
win the war. When folks have a defense, the send it
to us, and we print it.

Why have the County and the Unitarians failed
to defend themselves? For the same reason former
Police Chief Buzz Dillon did not defend his false
arrest of Dennis Cooper, and former Mayor Jimmy
Weekley never defended his costly squashing of Duck Tours: they were wrong, wrong,
wrong, and ultimately proven
so in courts of law.

THEATRE: “Stepping Out” Closes Saturday

Only two performances remain of “Stepping Out” at the
Waterfront Playhouse. The show
runs tonight, Friday, May 28,
with the final curtain descencding
tomorrow night, Saturday.

Curtain time is 8:30 p.m. for each
performance. Audiences have
been cheering this tap-dancing
comedy. Directed by Cameron
Murray, “Stepping Out” features
a wonderfully funny cast
of ten. The production sponsor
is WKWM, 91.5 FM with the
Platinum season sponsors of El
Meson de Pepe, Comcast and
Digital Island Media.

“Stepping Out” is a charming
play about the lives, laughs
and loves of a group of women
(and one man) attending a
weekly tap class in a church
hall in Buffalo, NY. Led by an
ex-professional dancer, the class
members attempt to overcome
an abundance of left feet in learning
how to dance.

ART: Walfrido and Rote Shows at Wyland Galleries

PHOTO: LOVE & SECURITY by Walfrido

Romantic realist Walfrido
will debut spectacular new
vistas of sea and sky at Wyland
Galleries of Key West’s 102
Duval St. location this weekend through Monday, May 31.

Appearing daily and by
appointment, Walfrido will also
discuss the inspirations and
creative techniques behind his
paintings, and will paint new
canvases as gallery visitors
watch.

Hawaii-based Walfrido
finds inspiration in the waters
and shorelines surrounding his
island home. Known for his
unique use of light and shadow,
he creates breathtaking scenes of
the seas and heavens, capturing
the changes in hues as the day
progresses from early morning
to nightfall.

IT’S THE LAW: What Do I Need to Know about Renting a Home or Apartment?

By Brandon Dimando &
Michael R. Barnes

Part 1 of a Series

In these tough economic
times, many who have been
homeowners are becoming
renters. This series of articles
talks about renting property
and what you need to know.

The most common kind
of tenancy is a tenancy for
a fixed period. This simply
means that you can occupy
the house or apartment for an
agreed period of time. Unless
you or the landlord violate part
or all of the lease agreement,
you must continue to pay rent
and the landlord must allow
you to occupy the property
for the agreed period of time.

Another kind of rental
agreement you may make
with your landlord is called a
tenancy at will. In this situation,
either the landlord or the
tenant may end the agreement
when he wishes, though most
states have laws requiring
that the one must give written
notice to the other a certain
number of days before the
projected termination date.

AAA Survey: Few Who Have Planned to Visit Florida Have Changed Plans Because of Spill

The oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico is creating concern that
some people may cancel their plans to visit Florida’s Gulf Coast or
the Florida Keys. Last weekend, AAA Auto Club South conducted
a survey and asked almost 1,400 individuals, east of the Mississippi
River, whether or not the oil spill will impact their travel
plans to the Sunshine State.

Thirty-two percent of respondents
plan to visit Florida within the next 12 months, and of those, 62
percent plan to visit Florida’s Gulf Coast. Most are planning trips
to Florida’s West Coast (56%), followed by the Florida Keys/Everglades
(37%), and the Florida Panhandle (28%).

The majority of respondents (87%) who plan to visit Florida’s
Gulf Coast said they have not changed their travel plans in the
last 30 days for any reason and of those, 58 percent said they are
unlikely to change their plans as news of the oil spill in the Gulf
develops. Among the 13 percent of respondents who did change
their travel plans, none attributed those changes to the oil spill,
with most citing financial or other reasons.