Fallout from Ducks Case: Boston Company Wants to Compete with Trolleys Here

VICE PRESIDENT OF CITYVIEW
TROLLEY TOURS OF KEY WEST IS
ED SWIFT’S FORMER SON-IN-LAW

COMPANY WANTS TO START
OPERATIONS HERE IN NOVEMBER

by Dennis Reeves Cooper

Part of the fallout from
the long-running Duck Tour
Seafaris lawsuit is that the court
ruled that part of the City of Key
West’s exclusive sightseeing
franchise with Historic Tours
of America (HTA) violated the
state antitrust law. Although
HTA still has a franchise agreement
with the City which requires
the company to pay the
City a percentage of the profits
of the Conch Tour Train and Old
Town Trolleys, the agreement
can no longer restrict where
competing sightseeing companies
can sell tickets or pick up
or drop off passengers.

As a result, CityView
Trolley Tours, a company that
runs sightseeing operations in
Boston, Salem and Cambridge,
Massachusetts, has formed
a new Florida corporation—
CityView Trolley Tours of Key
West— to compete with HTA
here. Greg Wythe, vice president
of the new company, has
sent letters to Mayor Morgan
McPherson and the six city
commissioners, telling them
that he hopes to begin sightseeing
operations here with four
to six trolleys by November of
this year.

“Between now and then,
we will be finalizing whatever
licensing or franchise contracts
are required,” Wythe told Key West The Newspaper this week.
“We also will be hiring and
training drivers, ticket sellers,
maintenance workers and other
staff.”

Wythe said that he hopes
to be able to fill all positions
with local residents.

Needless Death: Two Short Stories

BICYCLIST KILLED IN COLLISION
WITH CAR AFTER HE RUNS STOP
SIGN

KWTN Team Report

Last month, on the afternoon of April 27, 75-year-old Richard
Lionel Clements reportedly blew through a stop sign on his
bicycle. According to the crash report, released this week by the
Key West Police Department, Clements was traveling south on
11th Street, where it intersects with Flagler Avenue. He was able
to make it across one lane of traffic, but as he was trying to cross
the second lane, a car being driven by a 32-year-old Big Coppitt
Key woman slammed into Clements and his bicycle.

According to witnesses, the impact threw both Clements
and his bicycle into the air and into the turn lane on the other
side of the median.

Clements was treated at the scene by fire and rescue paramedics
and was subsequently airlifted to Ryder Trauma Center
in Miami, where he reportedly died.
That very same week, Police Chief Donie Lee told Key West The Newspaper, “Bicyclists
running red lights and stop signs
is a serious problem. Bicyclists
must obey most of the same laws
as vehicles if they choose to ride
in the street.”

PAGE ONE COMMENTARY Here Comes Another Hurricane Season: Are You Going to Stay or Go?

by Dennis Reeves Cooper

Well, here we go again.

Hurricane season officially begins
this coming Monday, June
1. And already, the so-called
hurricane experts— William
Klotzbach and William Gray
from Colorado State University—
are telling us to expect
an “average” hurricane season,
whatever that means.
Klotzbach and Gray say it
means 12 named storms, six hurricanes
and two major storms of
Category 3 or worse.

If you live in the Florida
Keys, hearing a forecast like
that is scary as hell— until you
realize that these guys (1) have
a less-than-impressive record
of accurate forecasts and (2)
they are not even pretending
to know where these storms
might hit or when. Assuming
that they’re anywhere close to
right when it comes to predicting
the number of storms (even
a broken watch is right two
times a day), all they are really
saying that these storms might
landfall somewhere along the
east coast of the United States
or somewhere along the U.S.
coasts on the Gulf of Mexico.

How helpful is that? It’s
not only not helpful, some
might even say it’s downright
ridiculous! What would be
helpful would be to know how many of those storms are going
to hit us here in the Keys, when
that’s going to happen and
how powerful those storms are
going to be. Of course, we are
well aware that nobody knows
the answer to these questions,
including those two guys from
Colorado State.

KIMBERLEY DENNEY: Travel Bitch

by Kimberley Denney

Damn you, Peter Horton.
You really took the wind
out of my sails. Or the wind
from beneath my wings. Or
whatever.

This month I flew to San
Francisco, and my experiences
at Key West International Airport
were so-so. I had heard
there were no bathrooms in
the departure area. Check.
No opportunity for alcohol
past security. Check. I wasn’t
prepared to go in through the
shiny new second floor only
to be escalated downstairs and
emerge into the same old departure
area, herded outside to
wait forever in the humidity for
the bullpen to open. I chalked
all this up to Conch mentality.
Who else would be okay with
these “improvements” other
than someone who has never
left the island?

The wine in Napa soon
blotted out bitchings of Key
West and the airport was quickly
forgotten. Until my unwelcome
home back to paradise. When
returning from a trip, all you
can hope for is that the flights
are on time and there’s not a
toddler kicking the seat behind
you. Or if the couple across the
aisle feels they absolutely must
loudly sing songs together to
their child before the aircraft
doors are even secured, you’ve
got your iPod. Or especially that
there’s no turbulence.

Weekend Concert Observes Woodstock Anniversary

PHOTO: JULIA NILES, the youngest
performer in the concert, will
perform Dusty Springfield’s
“Wishin and Hopin.”

The Music Room under
the direction of Robin Kaplan
celebrates the 40th Anniversary
of The Woodstock
Festival through their concert,
“WOODSTOCK ISLAND,”
A Day of Peace and Music
at Tennessee Williams Foyer
this Sunday, May 31st at 1:00
PM. This “Kids Helping Kids
Concert” benefits The Boys
and Girls Club of Key West.

Keeping with the spirit of
Woodstock, this year’s concert
is free of charge and open to
all peace-loving music lovers.
Just bring a picnic lunch, beach
chair, blanket, and be sure to
don some of your favorite 60s
or hippie clothes! Enjoy performances
by 50 of Key West’s most talented young music students performing your favorites
from the late 60s alongside notable performers Skipper Kripitz,
Joe Dallas, Kathleen Peace and other special guests. The Music
Room’s “Remaining 10 Band”, a 15 piece big band, will also be
making an appearance with Clinton Curtis headlining the group
he co-founded 10 years ago. For additional information contact
The Music Room at 294-7382. Peace!

June Is Adopt-a-Cat Month

As any cat owner will tell
you, when you make a cat part
of your family, your life is truly
enriched. June is Adopt-A-Cat
Month and the Florida Keys
SPCA is celebrating by offering
FREE adoptions of adult
cats to good homes.

Thanks
to Monroe County’s Board
of Commissioners, the usual
county fees will be waived for
the month of June. All the cats
will be spayed or neutered, microchipped
and up to date with
their shots, ready and waiting
for their forever homes. The
shelter at 5230 College Road
on Stock Island is open from
10am to 6pm, Monday thru
Friday, and from 10am to 2pm
on Saturdays. Call 294-4857 for
more information.

Rhonda: Will Work for Food, Will Lie for Work

by Rhonda Linseman-Saunders

Do you work with some serious morons? Are
there a few incompetent people at the office who have
no business working with the rest of you and nobody
can figure out why they’re there? You’re not alone.
I can’t personally relate because I work the majority
of my hours from my baby puke stained sofa.

And besides that, the KWTN staffers are consummate
professionals. But the Kalamazoo Gazette published
some of the results of a study showing that, gasp,
people really do lie to employers to get hired.

The study, done by HireRight, an Irvine, California
based job candidate-screening firm, revealed the
top five most popular lies told by job applicants. And
with the tanking of our economy and the associated
increased competition for decent jobs, the propensity
to fudge can only grow.

Rick Boettger: Democratic Wuss-Out

by Rick Boettger

The Republicans are doing a David and Goliath
on the Democrats again. Despite owning the presidency
and both houses of Congress, Democrats are
acting like the overweight playground bully who
turns tail and runs the first time some wiry redhead
stands up to him.

How do they wuss out? Ah, let us count the ways.
Worst is letting Cheney keep saying “torture works.”
WRONG. Torture does not save American lives, but
rather kills us. How? Count up over 4,000 Americans
dead in Iraq. Our going into Iraq was barely justified
at all, and we now know the main justifications were
both dead wrong: the CIA screwed up on Weapons
of Mass Destruction, and Dick Cheney conjured up
the Saddam Hussein-Al Qaeda connection.

Remember Colin Powell’s shame at having declared
this nonexistent connection on the floor of the
UN, in the name of America, as the critical justification
for the war? It was the trump-card reason for us to
let the real Al Qaeda survive in Afghanistan, while
we scorned world opinion to throw our troops away
elsewhere. We now know exactly how that misinformation
was created. CIA agents have testified that the
administration pressured them into finding someone,
anyone, to say Saddam was helping Al Qaeda. It was clear they could find no
physical evidence of such a connection—
because, as we know
now, none existed—and legal
interrogation methods couldn’t
get any Al Qaeda members to
make up the lie. So the word
came down, “Try harder, nudge
nudge wink wink.” So some
poor schmuck named Al Libi,
who was basically a trainer for
new terrorists and would never
have known of any link if it had
existed, was waterboarded in
Egypt until he said the magic
words.

A Couple of Swells at Waterfront Playhouse

The 2008/09 Waterfront
Playhouse season will end on
a high note— literally— with
“A Couple of Swells,” a concert
with Bobby Nesbitt and Danny
Weathers on Saturday, May 30
at 8:30 pm. The one night only
concert will feature selections
from the Broadway stage, the
American Songbook and pop
standards, as well as comedy,
dance and keyboards.

Joining them onstage will
be their special guests Carmen
Rodriguez and Michael Fauss.
The evening will also feature
a post-performance gala party
sponsored by Charlie Allen,
Dennis Beaver and Bert Whitt
with catering by Great Events.

Fresh Rompers Closes This Weekend at the Barn

The Red Barn Theatre
closes Fresh Rompers: A Festival
of Short Plays this weekend.
Last performances are tonight
and tomorrow night, Friday
and Saturday, May 20-30.

Audiences and critics
alike have loved this smartly
funny collection of ten-minute
plays which includes the work
of ten actors, seven directors,
and five playwrights.

The Red Barn Theatre
is following a national trend
by presenting an evening of
“Shorts” or short plays. One
of the best annual productions
of ten-minute plays can
be found just up the road at
the City Theatre, located in
Miami. Their award-winning
“Summer Shorts,” “Shorts 4
Kids,” and “Undershorts” series
have earned City Theatre
a national reputation for short
play excellence, so the Red Barn
Theatre turned to City Theatre
for scripts for this year’s Fresh
Rompers.