PAGE ONE COMMENTARY: Cops Lying on Police Reports. Just Another Day at the KWPD

MAN ALLEGEDLY STEALS A LAPTOP COMPUTER AND HOCKS IT. DETECTIVE MANIPULATES THE FACTS TO PROTECT THE ALLEGED THIEF AND THE PAWN SHOP MANAGEMENT— BUT NOT THE VICTIM

by Dennis Reeves Cooper

This is a crime story. It’s about the theft of a laptop computer. It’s also about an alleged thief who, apparently, is not the sharpest pencil in the box. And it’s also a story about an almost-totally fabricated police report.

I know what you’re thinking. Okay, Cooper, here we go again. Police officers would never lie on their police reports! In fact, don’t they swear to God that they are telling the truth on those reports?

Read on and you can decide.

In early January of this year, a Sony Vaio laptop computer was stolen out of a van owned by Key Wester Tim Gratz, 61.

A few weeks later, Gratz said he was shopping at Key Plaza when he was approached by a man who asked him if he had recently had a Sony computer stolen out of his van.

Navel Air Station to Celebrate Centennial of Naval Aviation

Naval Air Station Key West will open its gates to the public to celebrate the Centennial of Naval Aviation April. The celebration will be on Boca Chica Field at mile marker 8. The hours of the event will be from 10am until 3pm.

Visitors to the base will get to see an F/A-18 Superhornet, an F-5N Tiger, a SH-60 Seahawk search and rescue helicopter, and other naval aircraft.

Various departments on base and other local military services will be represented by exhibits and demonstrations including boats, Seabees and firefighting capabilities. Food, beverages and Centennial of Naval Aviation merchandise will be available for purchase. There will be also be live music throughout the day.

BITCHIN’ PARADISE: What’s Your Problem?

by Kimberley Denney

As part of my unofficial continuing series, I ask you once again, what is wrong with people? I don’t understand why, so often especially, people want to tell you whatever’s on their mind. And it’s usually something you’re not going to like.

On one of my last nights working at Orchid Bar I wore a new dress, loose with black tiers and a beige print. You know, something I could actually move around in at work while also looking cute. Well, at least that’s what MY mirror told me.

The first words out of my coworker’s mouth: you look pregnant in that dress. Wow. I’d been at Tea Dance at La Te Da for an hour before, and wondered how many people were actually judging the pregnant girl downing plastic cups of sauvignon blanc.

RHONDA: Just Us

by Rhonda Linseman-Saunders

When my son was in fourth grade I took him on a trip— just the two of us. We went to D.C. and heard Jim Northrup (the writer, not the baseball player) speak. We did a few other things there, too. It was special. At least to me. He’s short on words so I just have to trust it’s a nice memory for him.

Because of that trip, my daughter has been reminding me every hour on the hour since her first day of fourth grade that it’s her turn for a fourth grade Just Us trip. She’s now finishing fifth grade, so last weekend I decided to obtain some creative financing (made plans to crash at my sister’s house in Orlando instead of at a hotel, got buy one/get one Groupon deals, gave her dad and grandparents the opportunity to contribute to the trip as their birthday gift to her), and we did it.

I woke her Friday and she obliviously got ready as she would for any other school day. I’d already secretly packed our bags and hid them in the trunk. So she was stupefied when I missed the turn for school and told her that, if she was up for it, we should just go ahead and keep driving and make a special Just Us birthday trip instead.

BARNES: Whose Ox Is Being Gored?

by Michael Barnes

“It all depends on whose ox is being gored.” Generally the expression means that an event will be seen differently depending on the extent to which the viewer’s self-interest is involved.

I should warn you, from the start, that this article has more questions than answers. That’s appropriate. I hope that it becomes clear, as you read, that it’s important for each and every one of us direct our thought and our actions to the answers. The questions are reasonably easy.

Many would agree that our country faces “challenges” (polite word for “problems”) on many fronts. Unfortunately, many more of us would rather not think about our problems at all.

ART: Warren at Wyland

Master artist Jim Warren will debut his latest paintings at Key West’s Wyland Galleries, 623 Duval St., Thursday through Saturday, March 17-19. Warren’s unique style, which blends fantasy and realism, calls to mind a cross between Norman Rockwell and Salvador Dali. Florida Keys art lovers are invited to view his new canvases and learn what inspired them from the artist himself. Photo: Jim Warren’s “Night Moves.” Info: (305) 292- 4998 or visiwww.wylandkeywest.com.

FILM: What’s on at the Tropic

by Phil Mann

The Tropic and The Studios of Key West join this week in a celebration of the work of documentary filmmaker Helen Whitney. She’s a visiting artist- in-residence at The Studios all month, offering advice and counseling to aspiring filmmakers.

But this week is her time to shine in her own right, with a festival of her work on the Tropic screens.

The kickoff is Friday night, with a fund-raising reception and screening of Part One of her forthcoming two-part PBS series FORGIVENESS: A TIME TO LOVE AND A TIME TO HATE. In this world of rancor and revenge, she shows that humanity has another side… sometimes. Part Two will show on Sunday, and both parts, along with her other documentary films–RICHARD AVEDON: DARKNESS AND LIGHT; THE MONASTERY; and HOMOSEXUALS –will be shown throughout the week.

“Scoundrels” at Waterfront Playhouse

The Broadway smash hit “Dirty Rotten Scoundrels” is playing at the Waterfront Playhouse through Saturday, March 26. This hilarious musical is directed by Danny Weathers with musical direction by Michael Fauss and choregraphy by Penny Leto and Christine Marguerite. “Scoundrels” features a stellar cast in a rollicking show that is packed with singing, dancing and high society high-jinks. “Scoundrels” centers on two con men plying their trade on the French Riviera. They make a bet to see who can be the first to swindle a young heiress out of $50,000. What ensues is a scenario of bawdy fun that includes outrageous schemes, masquerades and double crosses. The cast is led by Michael Mulligan, Eric Cole and Kristen Michelle with J. B. McLendon, Gayla Morgan, Traci Reynolds and David Black, Carolyn Cooper, Marc Crow, Rhett Kalman, Jessica Miano Kruel, Joe McMurray, Maggie Meier, Ruben Navarro and Amy Ray.

Tickets: 294-5015 or http://www.WaterfrontPlayhouse.org.

Woman’s Hope Concert

The fifth annual Woman’s Hope Concert, set for Friday, March 18, at 8pm at the Tennessee Williams Cabaret Theatre, features a who’s who of Key West performers, and 100 percent of the proceeds benefit the Boys and Girls Clubs.

An all-star female cast that includes Kathleen Peace, Melody Cooper, Libby York, Kim Gordon, Christine Cordone, Valerie Carr, Raven Cooper, Deb Hudson and Maj Johnson is joined by special guests Danny Weathers, Dean Walters, Gordon Ross and John Rudolph.

This one-of-a-kind show, produced by the Key West Woman’s Club, also includes fun appearances by Heather Carruthers and Shirley Freeman, Karen Grant as Ooo La La, plus popular emcee Randy Thompson. With many of Key West’s favorite performers all on one stage, the Woman’s Hope Concert promises to be an exciting mix of pop, jazz, blues, Broadway, cabaret and country.

Tickets are $45- $55 and can be purchased through Keystix.com or the Tennessee Williams Theatre box office at (305) 296-1520.

Musical Treats This Week

Skraeling Held Over at Finnegan’s
After playing a super gig at Finnegan’s Wake yesterday, St. Patrick;s Day, SKRAELING has been held over for six more nights— tonight, Friday, March 18 ‘til next Wednesday, March 23. The music starts at 8.

Another Big Music Week at the Green Parrot
SPIRITUAL REZ (left) is bringing their reggae funk horn party to the Green Parrot tonight and tomorrow night, Friday and Saturday, March 18-19, starting at 10. They also will be doing “sound checks” both afternoons at 5:30. GRATEFUL DREAD (center photo) will be mixing Dead songs with raggae groove at the 5:30 “sound check” on Sunday afternoon. And the legendary SPIDER JOHN KOERNER will be returning to the Parrot for a 5:30 “sound check” next Wednesday afternoon at 5:30 and then he will return for a 10pm gig.

Suenalo at Turtle Kraals
SUENALO, the popular Miami-based fusion band, will be at the Turtle Kraals tonight and tomorrow night, Friday and Saturday, March 18-19. Showtime: 7 ‘til 11.