PAGE ONE COMMENTARY: Behind the Scenes at Key West The Newspaper

PENDING STORIES— WHY IT
SOMETIMES TAKES MONTHS
TO GET ALL THE INFORMATION

by Dennis Reeves Cooper

It is not unusual in a
newspaper office for a number
of stories to be “pending.” Waiting
on enough information to
go to press with a story or to
write a followup on a story that
has already been published.
Until this week, one of
those pending pieces was the
story about the cop who ran
down a pedestrian in a crosswalk
on November 24, breaking
the man’s leg. Actually, the
impact shattered the man’s
tibia— his shinbone— requiring
the surgeon to insert a metal
plate into the man’s leg.

We reported to you that
the man was virtually bedridden
for several weeks and that
he is still on crutches, and is
mostly restricted to his rented
room on White Street.

You may or may not know
that when a cop is involved in a
serious accident in a city car, he
or she is not ticketed or jailed
like a regular person might be
in the same situation. Cops go
before a Traffic Review Board
(TRB). And a bunch of other
cops decide if he or she did
anything wrong.

Could a Giant Tsunami Decimate the Keys?

by Rhonda
Linseman-Saunders

It seems silly now, of
course, but don’t tell me you
weren’t at least a little freaked
out by the possibility of a
tsunami hitting the Keys after
the earthquake in Haiti last
Tuesday.

About half an hour after
the earthquake, rumors were
swirling about the possibilty of
a tsunami barreling its way toward
South Florida. Thoughts
of the devastating seismic wave
in Indonesia filled the heads
and fueled the imaginations of
many. One local mother (okay,
it was me) contemplated putting
life vests on all her children
and sitting on the roof to wait
for the powerful, mile-high
wall of water to strike.

Since we seem to have
a constant stream of people
moving to and from Key West,
I think it’s safe to assume I
am not the only local person
who sometimes feels like an
idiot about what is and is not
realistic in terms of natural
disaster possibilities around
here. So I asked the experts at
the National Weather Service in
Key West. I knew they’d come
through for us on short notice.
I’ve yet to meet a weather geek
who doesn’t love to talk about
his or her area of expertise.

LETTER FROM BAGHDAD: I Was Raised an Arab

by Ken Davis

As time goes on in Baghdad
I find myself increasingly
more comfortable when dealing
with my Arab counterparts. I
have come to know good chai
and am comfortble with my
limited Arabic. There have been
a few hints or acts of the sexist
attitudes supposedly dominating
the Muslim religion but
I have never viewed blatant
acts touted by anti Muslims.

Don’t get me wrong, by U.S.
standard they are not liberals
and progress is slow. But the
more I learn the more I have
wanted to better understand
the subtle nuances associated
with the culture. A professor
friend recommended “Understanding
Arabs” 4th edit., by
Arabist and author, Margaret
Nydell. Unlike similar books
it is an interesting read and full
of updated information. Within
the first few chapters I learned
a great deal of the Arab culture,
but then in Chapter 8, a personal
family secret came to light—I
was raised an Arab.

LETTERS: Some Like It Hot

Dear Editor:

I think Al Gore, and his billions
of climate dollars, should
visit South Florida for the next
two weeks to ask the homeless
questions about how they feel
about the sea level rising over
their freezing bed of sand. I
would like to tell Al Guru that
I got “shrinkage” while walking
out for the newspaper this
morning; and I was even wearing
sweats inside of my red satin
“Hef” robe! It felt like I saw
Nancy Pelosi in a bikini picking
oranges to save the crops before
the temperature hit 32.

Just where are these global
warming enthusiasts when the
temperature drops far below
normal? (It is like waiting for
President Obama, who I voted
for, to say something that has
pertinence in my life.) You
won’t hear a peep until some
jerk comes out with a statement
saying that global warming
causes cooling, or if the temperature
should get to 33, then
they can say it’s melting!

They only have “news”
when it is convenient for their
“religious” cause, while asking
for contributions of “green”
cash.

Mark Sanders
Cudjoe Key

RHONDA: Willful Ignorance: It’s for the Children

by Rhonda Linseman-Saunders

I trick myself into believing I can eat more of
something if I can tie it, somehow, to the prospect
of it being healthy food. Don’t lie; you do the same
thing.

But like any self-respecting American liberal, I
am comfortable blaming consumer capitalism for my
poor choices. It’s either that or take personal responsibility
for my health. Psht. What. Ever.

Capitalizing on any variation on “healthy” has
become quite an art in the ultra competitive food
marketing universe. Advertisers don’t lie to us, per
se. They just play on our own desire to find something
delicious, eat embarrassing quantities, and cling with
willful ignorance to the notion that not only aren’t
we disgusting gluttons, but we’re actually piously
health conscious.

O'BOYLE: When My Jokes Come True

"The nearest thing to eternal life we will ever see
on this earth is a government program."
– Ronald Reagan

By Hal O'Boyle

I’ve been making fun of the granny-goosers at the Transportation Safety
Administration (TSA) for as long as they’ve been around. When they
banned styling mousse and toothpaste from airliners, I joked that I was
glad the goo bombers
hadn’t been bra or briefs bombers. Little did I dream that an outfit as
deeply incompetent as the TSA would survive long enough to see my jokes
come true. But I simply didn’t understand the profound truth of Ronald
Reagan’s observation about government bureaus and eternal life.

I’d
be hard pressed to choose the greater screw-up, the jock bomber or the
people charged with keeping jock bombers off of airplanes. The bomber
failed to blow his own butt off even though, against all odds, he had
carried the dreaded briefs bomb all the way from Nigeria to Detroit.

Keep reading here…

House & Garden Tours Today and Tomorrow

With miles of historic district, Key West may look like an
architectural museum to visitors, but residents are well aware
that it is a living city. The five houses lined up for the January
House & Garden Tour illustrate how changing with the times
can be done while honoring the past. The tour is scheduled for
today and tomorrow, Friday and Saturday, January 15 and 16,
from 5 to 8 p.m. Tickets are $25. Info: Call (305) 294-9501 or see
ad on page 21.

The Home & Garden Tours are presented by the Old Island
Restoration Foundation.

Literacy Volunteers Gets $5000 Grant

Literacy Volunteers of America (LVA)-Monroe County, Inc.
has been awarded a one-year $5,000 grant for the implementation
of a health literacy program to benefit English as a Second
Language (ESL) students. This grant, awarded by Blue Cross
and Blue Shield of Florida and the Florida Literacy Coalition will
help integrate health and nutrition into LVA’s curriculum. For
information stop by Literacy Volunteers at 1400 United Street in
Key West or call 294-4352.

Kelly McGillis Football Event Set for February

Twenty-five teams of women and girls from across the
United States, Canada, Mexico, the Scandinavian countries and
the United Kingdom are to converge on Key West in February for
the 19th annual Kelly McGillis Classic International Women’s &
Girls’ Flag Football Championship. The championship, named
for and endorsed by the critically acclaimed actress and former
Key West resident who starred in “Top Gun” and “Witness,” is
scheduled Sunday, Feb. 7, through Monday, Feb. 15.

According to Diane Beruldsen, president and founder of
the International Women’s Flag Football Association, players
ranging from 8 years old to seniors are to compete in the sporting
challenge.

The tournament incorporates social events, parties and daily
activities for participants as well as four days of hard-fought
competition. Teams compete in divisions based on age and skill
level. Divisions include those for girls ages 8-14, juniors ages
14-17 and beginners, middle and higher divisions for women
18 and over.

Following three days of Key West activities, the tournament’s
opening ceremonies are scheduled for 3 p.m. Wednesday, Feb.
10, at Guy Harvey’s Grill, 511 Greene St.

Following the ceremonies, competing teams are to proceed
down Key West’s renowned Duval Street in the annual players
parade.

Info: http://www.fla-keys.com.

Women Who Steal at Red Barn Theatre

What happens when
menopause meets a bottle of
Tequila and takes a midnight
joy ride? you’ll find out when
you see the refreshing and crazy
comedy, Women Who Steal, at
the Red Barn Theatre, located
at 319 Duval Street.

Women Who Steal tells the
story of a late night road adventure
shared by unlikely friends—
the wife and the woman who
did her wrong. Its Thelma and
Louise meets Desperate House
Wives with less violence and a
lot more driving!

This show runs through
February 13.