CAROLYN GORTON FULLER: The World as Carolyn Saw it

EDITOR’S NOTE: Carolyn Gorton Fuller died last August at the age of 88. If you have been a resident of Key West for any length of time, you probably knew Carolyn or you knew who she was. You have probably seen her famous bottle wall at her house across the street from the cemetery where Angela Street intersects with Margaret Street.

She was not a regular columnist in Key West The Newspaper, but every once in a while she would send us a letter or commentary— hardly ever involving a controversial issue. Not the kind of thing you normally see in KWTN. But her humor was so subtle and her writing was, well, sweet.

Rarely did something she sent us not appear in print. Over the next few months, we will be re-publishing some of Carolyn’s columns.

ANOTHER CHICKEN STORY

by Carolyn Gorton Fuller

EDITOR’S NOTE: This article was first published in Key West The Newspaper on August 8, 1999.

I am hen-piqued. For over a year I have been fighting an inundation of chickens. Not only do they get under my house at night and crow me awake at 4 a.m., but they dig up the grass I’ve so carefully planted, scatter the Pine ark Mulch I’ve so carefully spread, and scoop out nests under my shrubbery.

CAROLYN GORTON FULLER: The Bottle Wall

EDITOR’S NOTE: Carolyn Gorton Fuller died last August at the age of 88. If you have been a resident of Key West for any length of time, you probably knew Carolyn or you knew who she was. You have probably seen her famous bottle wall at her house across the street from the cemetery where Angela Street intersects with Margaret Street. That is her topic this week She was not a regular columnist in Key West The Newspaper, but every once in a while she would send us a letter or commentary– hardly ever involving a controversial issue. Not the kind of thing you normally see in KWTN. But her humor was so subtle and her writing was, well, sweet. Rarely did something she sent us not appear in print. Since her death, we have been republishing some of Carolyn’s columns.

THE CONTINUING SAGA OF THE BOTTLE WALL

By Carolyn Gorton Fuller

This column was originally published in Key West The Newspaper on January 2, 1998

Many years ago I built a wall out of bottles on the corner of Angela and Margaret Streets. I want to get some things straightened out about the fate of that wall.

During the 20-odd years that I maintained it, the wall was broken many times, partially through vandalism but mostly by drivers leaving town taking that corner too fast – the left turn off Passover onto the foot of Margaret and then a hard right onto Angela Street.

CAROLYN GORTON FULLER: Technology, Fish and the Beginning or the End

EDITOR’S NOTE: Carolyn Gorton Fuller died last August at the age of 88. If you have been a resident of Key West for any length of time, you probably knew Carolyn or you knew who she was. You have probably seen her famous bottle wall, at her house across the street from the cemetery where Angela Street intersects with Margaret Street.

She was not a regular columnist in Key West The Newspaper, but every once in awhile, she would send us a letter or commentary— hardly ever involving a controversial issue. Not the kind of thing you normally see in KWTN. But her humor was so subtle and her writing was, well, sweet. Rarely did something she sent us not appear in print.

Over the next few months, we will be re-publishing some of Carolyn’s columns. This week, we are re-publishing several of her shorter columns.

TECHNOLOGY OUTDATES OLD JOKES

by Carolyn Gorton Fuller

I was gluing something yesterday when I suddenly realized I am growing old. Even my jokes aren’t funny any longer – and I only remember two. I think I learned them both when I was 12. Now the U.S. Post Office has unfunnyed one of them with their self-sticking stamps.

The joke was: “What’s the difference between a donkey and a postage stamp?” And the answer was: “One you lick with a stick and the other you stick with a lick.”

CAROLYN GORTON FULLER: THE FROG IN THE BUCKET

WHERE’S RHONDA? Rhonda wrote the Page One Commentary this week. Her column will be back in this spot next week.

EDITOR’S NOTE: Carolyn Gorton Fuller died last August at the age of 88. If you have been a resident of Key West for any length of time, you probably knew Carolyn or you knew who she was. She was not a regular columnist in Key West The Newspaper, but every once in awhile, she would send us a letter or commentary— hardly ever involving a controversial issue. Not the kind of thing you normally see in KWTN. But her humor was so subtle and her writing was, well, sweet. Rarely did something she sent us not appear in print. Over the next few months, we will be re-publishing some of Carolyn’s columns. This week, we are re-publishing several of her shorter columns.

THE FROG IN THE BUCKET

by Carolyn Gorton Fuller

A few days ago I went out to put the lid on my rainwater bucket. It’s one of those big plastic containers all sorts of things come in, but I found mine empty and use it in the backyard to collect rainwater When it looks like rain, I take the lid off so I can catch some, if I’ve guessed right. When it doesn’t look like rain, I put the lid on so the collected water won’t breed mosquitoes.

Once in a while, one of those little lizards we have here falls in, so I put a stick in the container when it is open for the little critters to use as a ladder to climb back out again. This time, I had forgotten the stick, so I just peeped in to make sure I hadn’t drowned another lizard and there, glued to the side of the bucket was a frog. Gray and solemn, about 3 inches long, 2 inches wide, and an inch thick.

CAROLYN GORTON FULLER: Motorcycles and the Sargasso Factor

EDITOR’S NOTE: Carolyn Gorton Fuller died last August at the age of 88. If you have been a resident of Key West for any length of time, you probably knew Carolyn or you knew who she was. She was not a regular columnist in Key West The Newspaper, but every once in awhile, she would send us a letter or commentary— hardly ever involving a controversial issue. Not the kind of thing you normally see in KWTN. But her humor was so subtle and her writing was, well, sweet. Rarely did something she sent us not appear in print. Over the next few months, we will be re-publishing some of Carolyn’s columns. This week, we are re-publishing two of her shorter columns.

by Carolyn Gorton Fuller

VARRRRAHOOM!

The recent invasion of all those motorcyclists got me thinking.

I’ve wondered if perhaps riding a motorcycle is as different from riding in a car as skinny-dipping is different from swimming in a bathing suit.

It had been so peaceful and quiet this year that I thought no cycles had come. Then I saw the big sign hanging over Truman Avenue as you come into town, “Quiet Zone” – and low and behold there were millions of motorcycles everywhere I looked. They had come— they had been here and they had been considerate and polite and quiet.

CAROLYN GORTON FULLER: Potpourri

EDITOR’S NOTE: Carolyn Gorton Fuller died last August at the age of 88. If you have been a resident of Key West for any length of time, you probably knew Carolyn or you knew who she was. She was not a regular columnist in Key West The Newspaper, but every once in awhile, she would send us a letter or commentary— hardly ever involving a controversial issue. Not the kind of thing you normally see in KWTN. But her humor was so subtle and her writing was, well, sweet. Rarely did something she sent us not appear in print. Over the next few months, we will be re-publishing some of Carolyn’s columns. This week, we are re-publishing several of her shorter columns.

NOTE: Carolyn’s family has organized a memorial event for friends and neighbors. The event is set for tomorrow, Saturday, November 6, 4-8pm, at Carolyn’s home at 905 Angela Street, right across the street from the cemetery.

The Case of the Bogus Ham

I thought I’d never have anything I wanted to write you about again— but I find I have. I’ve just returned from the grocery store— well, really I went yesterday, but this morning I got out my butcher knife to manipulate what I’d brought home. On the can was a picture of a Ham.

Remember those little canned hams you could buy with a key you fitted into a little punched out thing on the side and then twiddled? I mean, you wound up this sort of metal belt around the key, trying not to cut yourself too deeply on the lid of the can or its sidewalls or this rolled up belt of thin tin in the process.

Memorial Event for Carolyn Fuller Set for November 6

Carolyn Gorton Fuller died last August at the age of 88. She was a longtime Key West resident and well-known around town. She was also a frequent columnist for Key West The Newspaper. Her family has scheduled a memorial event— a gathering of family, friends and neighbors— for Saturday, November 6, at Carolyn’s home at 905 Angela Street, from 4 to 8 p.m.

 

CAROLYN GORTON FULLER: Hair

EDITOR’S NOTE: Carolyn Gorton Fuller died last August at the age of 88. If you have been a resident of Key West for any length of time, you probably knew Carolyn or you knew who she was. She was not a regular columnist in Key West The Newspaper, but every once in awhile, she would send us a letter or commentary— hardly ever involving a controversial issue. Not the kind of thing you normally see in KWTN. But her humor was so subtle and her writing was, well, sweet. Rarely did something she sent us not appear in print. Over the next few months, we will be re-publishing some of Carolyn’s columns. The following column was first published here in 2002.

by Carolyn Gorton Fuller

One hundred years ago— more or less— (I am now 80) I asked a friend of mine to give me a home permanent. I bought the kit and she did it so well, made the “pin curls” so tight that when, at the prescribed time, I tried to let my hair down, it didn’t come. It stayed screwed up in such tight kinks and curls I looked like a Brillo pad. You never saw anything so horrible in all your life.

I was teaching at the time, high school, and the idea of getting up before 40 art students, as I looked, was too much. I called a professional hairdresser at 6 a.m. and had her try her skills – all to no avail – she finally put on a solution that straightened it all out, and I went off to class smelling like a dog that had been dipped in mange cure and looking like a drowned cat.

CAROLYN GORTON FULLER: Hit and Run: The Famous Autumn Leaf Car

EDITOR’S NOTE: If you
have been a resident of Key
West for any length of time,
you probably knew Carolyn
Gorton Fuller, or you knew
who she was. She was not a
regular columnist in Key West
The Newspaper, but every once
in awhile, she would send us a letter or a commentary— hardly
ever involving a controversial
issue. Not the kind of thing you
normally see in KWTN. But
her humor was so subtle and
her writing was, well, sweet.
Rarely did something she sent
to us not appear in print.
You may know that Carolyn
died earlier last month at 88
years of age. For the next few
months, every other week, we
will be republishing some of
her columns that appeared here
over the years.
The following column
was published on June 21,
2002— the story of Carolyn’s
famous autumn leaf car.

by Caroyln Gorton Fuller

About 2 a.m., June 11, I
was awakened by a terrible
crash followed by the sound of
a car speeding down Margaret
Street. I live on the corner of
Angela and Margaret and park
my car in a handicapped parking
place on Margaret Street.

I
rushed – as only an 80-year-old
lady can rush – out barefooted
into a rain that started pouring
the moment I opened my front
door. Sure enough, someone
speeding up Passover into
the Margaret-Angela Street
intersection had misjudged
their turn onto Margaret and
rear ended my little car almost
completely out of its parking
area and up over the curb before
speeding off up Margaret.

CAROLYN GORTON FULLER: An Appeal for Death with Dignity

EDITOR’S NOTE: If you have been a resident of Key West
for any length of time, you probably knew Carolyn Gorton Fuller,
or you knew who she was. She was not a regular columnist in
Key West The Newspaper, but every once in awhile, she would
send us a letter or a commentary— hardly ever involving a controversial
issue. Not the kind of thing you normally see in KWTN.
But her humor was so subtle and her writing was, well, “sweet.”
Rarely did something she sent to us not appear in print.
You may know that Carolyn died earlier this month at 88
years of age. For the next few months, every other week, we will
be republishing some of her columns. that appeared here. The
following column was published on April 5, 2002.

by Carolyn Gorton Fuller

Because I am 80, there
are a number of things I can no
longer do. For instance I can no
longer run and jump and climb
as do my grandsons, and, as I
grow older, I will be able to do less and less until I die.

But there are a lot of
things I still can do. I am not
helpless. I am still what we call
“independent.” I run my own
home, buy my own groceries,
and drive my own car.

What I am writing about
is the period of life between
being “independent” and being
dead. I see my friends
sell their homes and move in
with their children— or into
nursing homes. I see neither of
these possibilities as anything
I choose to do.

When I reach a point
where I feel I am no longer
able to “run my own show,”
I would like to take a pill that
would get me dead as quickly
as possible.